Triggers are tricky.

They’re almost like time machines. They can bring you back to a person, memory, conversation, song, a scent…you name it. Triggers can rehash amazing moments, but also throw salt on old wounds. Sometimes we don’t even know that these reactions are taking place until we’re in the thick of them. If I had a dollar for every time I was subconsciously triggered by something traumatic, I’d be on a 62″ yacht with Drake off the coast of Jamaica right now.

The most powerful statement about triggers I’ve learned, is that they are not our truth. Although having a dream about an ex, or hearing a song come on in your favorite local spot, may cause nostalgia or feelings to resurface, it does not mean that it is a sign or indication to open doors to people you’ve walked away from.

In one of my most painful breakups, I remember consistently being plagued with vivid memories of times we spent together. The conversations we shared, and the strained reminder of the consuming insecurity in what was our long distance relationship. God forbid any song came on from a specific album we collectively loved equally as much, it was as if it would take me right back to that time, right back to the pain. I associated so many things with the heartbreak. I was trapped in such a dark place in trying to find closure that it didn’t occur to me that that I was choosing to live in the land of devastation and fixation with an idea of what was, instead of what currently is. As I look back, I chose to swim in so much pain that I didn’t see the ladder 20 feet away from me to get out of the pool.

Finally on land, I’ve found a couple of “landmarks” to be mindful of and practice while navigating through our own personal triggers, aka the emotional trenches. Although we may never be completely indifferent to triggers, there is light in letting them visit and appropriately ensuring they exit. Here are some ways to sail through these uncharted waters while being mindful.

1. Change the f#$*’in channel. LITERALLY. I remember when a single song would leave me 14 miles straight in my commute in tears. Like tears to where god forbid you had hit a block of traffic to see the rush hour commuter starring at the tears roll down your face…it made me even more sad. After weeks of spending a stretch of the freeway on the fast track to stewing in my heartache, I realized that part of me was enjoying sulking in this grief (don’t you worry, I’ll be covering the entire topic of grief here in another post). It was like I was a heroine addict, feeding off of pain because it was the only thing I had left of our non-existent relationship. This is not a ‘pass go collect $200 dollars’ situation, this is simply taking you back 7 blocks to where you’ve enabling yourself to move forward. I was choosing to live there (which was comfortable) instead of sitting down with myself and owning up to the fact that I was getting some sort of satisfaction sitting in a fire. Let grief visit where ever it finds you, then tell that mother*cker you got shit to do and it’s gotta go. Stewing will always be a set back, you’re too busy doing life to become a stewing Sal.
2. GET OUT. Get outside. Drive to the sand, sit on a mountain, soak in the view, let the air blow through your hair, HELL sit under the tree in your neighbors front yard (use good judgement on this one). It’s so essential to appreciate at least one incredible thing Mother Nature has given us, with nothing in return. Appreciate it. It is such an incredible gift that all of these simple things are at our fingertips every single day. As I mentioned before, gratefulness is magic goals AF. In my own personal experience, the more I would appreciate all the little things throughout my day (butterflies in the sky, a green light, that prime parking spot, a smile and a polite gesture from a stranger) the more frequently these little gifts would occur. Attracting more positive situations. This is a recent shift triggers have made me more conscious of, no coincidence in that.
3. Shift it. You are what you think you are. Promise you that, HUNNI. The mind is one of the most powerful things we own. So why not shift it when triggers invite the shoulda, coulda, maybe wouldas in? Sounds so simple, right? We get so caught up in the fear of what will or won’t happen that we barely have any time to manifest what we want to happen. How so? I remember a long time ago in another unhealthy relationship, I would send a text speaking my truth about something I needed from my significant other and in the hours shortly after sending it, I would go into full blown fight or flight mode. How could this not be a red flag, you ask? I would contemplate whether or not my text was too honest, if he lost his phone in the river, if he met some girl in isle 6 at the grocery store, and every other toxic unheard of situation until I heard back from him. Instead of shifting my mind to, “he will text me back at some point” I flew off the handlebars and jumped into negative crazytown. Why? Because I was not mentally equip to live in the present moment– I chose to live in the fear of what might happen versus sitting back and enjoying what is really happening. The unknown should be a beautiful thing, how did my triggers rob me of this without my consent? When we shift our perspective to live now, what path we see ourselves going down and potential doors that are about to unlock for us- they happen. You attract what you exude. If your negativity over here is assuming the man of your dreams has met someone and flown to Greece on a whim to marry them, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Refocus. Know that the universe has never let you down thus far. Shift your mindset, remind the universe you trust it, and that anything meant for you, will never miss you. EVER. 

Although we may never be unplugged from our triggers, I do know that acknowledging them is your power. I still to this day battle them, but instead of being paralyzed by certain ones, I try and mold them into tests. I take them as signs that I need to recharge and refocus in the present moment and spend a bit more time manifesting all the life changing gifts the universe has yet to bring my way.

You are so much more than your triggers. You are your thoughts, so be kind, speak your truth, let the pain stay for as long as it needs to, but always remember you are the captain of your ship and your mindset will always be your compass.

Sending you all the light, always.

xx katlyn